My Why

What is my Why? That is why is it that I want to change my life? It's really simple I guess, I want to LIVE. I'm 34 years old and I have never lived. I never go out, I never do anything that I would like to do because of my fear of being ridiculed. I've heard the laughs, the horrible comments, and yes even at times, I have heard the "Moos"
I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the too-tight seats at the movies or the ball games, or worse yet I'm tired of being afraid of where I can go, or what I can use or not use because of weight limits.
I want to LIVE. I want to fly on an airplane without fear of needing a seat belt extender, or worse yet, needing to have to buy two seats. I want to go on my cruise and be able to go horseback riding, para sailing, or whatever else my heart desires. I don't want to have to scour the brochures to find the weight restrictions.
I want to go to the amusement park and ride all the roller coasters, I want to play ball with the kids. I want to be able to have my own kids one day. I want to love myself enough to stop abusing myself and my body.
I've hidden behind my weight for so many things, I've avoided living, trying, and applying myself to all the things in my life that I deserve. I've settled for far too little for too long. But no more will I do that. I deserve all the great things that life has to offer. I will change my life physically, mentally and spiritually.